I just realized i haven't written anything here since May.
Part of this is because I've been very busy.
And part of this is because I don't really know what to say.
Haha. I guess i'll get you all up to speed..
I work a lot. I am managing the bar i was working at (baba's lounge), and i also work part time for a jeweler called Overman. On top of that, I'm still busy with bands and PRRO and all that other fun stuff.
Going away was soo lovely! I got to spend time with Christeen, Zach, and see tons of other amazing friends. But, i think it was a little bittersweet because seeing so many friends made me feel that much lonelier here on PEI. It seems like i try and try and try and I still can't make friends here. It really makes me wonder, "am i a shitty person?", "am i not likable?". And that makes me kinda sad. It also makes me wonder "should i really still be living here?", "am i happy?". And that makes me flighty as hell.
There are a lot of great things about PEI. And maybe part of my problem is that I just don't utilize them. I don't live at the cabin anymore, and I think that's a really big thing. I feel like i've really lost touch with a lot of who i am. I haven't written a new song in months and months, these days i don't even bother to pick up my banjo or accordion. Is this what nine to fivers feel like? It's a boring lifeless way to live.
I just miss having friends. Having people to share things with. I've been on PEI for probably 4 years now, and there still isn't a single person i can hang out with and talk to about anything real.
Every day I think about leaving. And i wonder if the reasons why I stay outweigh the reasons for leaving?
