being an adult sucks.

Okay. I feel like I need to do some venting, so here goes:
Things have been getting progressively more and more stressful to me at our homestead these days, I'm not sure exactly what the root cause is.
I'd like to say that having your partner as your roommate is great, and sometimes it can be, but sometimes it just causes all this trivial problems in the relationship that could easily be avoided if you had your own spaces. Things like "Argh! He left his dirty socks on the kitchen table!" or "He hasn't done the dishes in weeks!". Things that if said person was just a roommate, you'd only be a little angry, but since they're your partner, you're furious. Furious because you can be, because no matter how shitty you treat them, they're not going to just up and stop being your friend. And even if they did decide that, you'd totally see it coming and it would be this long, drawn out, horrible breakup and by the end of it you'd be convinced that they were a horrible person anyways.
It's been really difficult staying positive about being home all the time. What i thought would mean "lounging around in my underwear" actually means "cleaning up after the millions of houseguests, orchestrating getting a well dug, dealing with the excavators working on the driveway,searching the country for windows, doors, a well pump, a donkey, you name it!, while trying to single-handedly build a 12 by 20 house extension using money almost entirely from my unemployment cheques". I am not a happy camper. Perhaps if that were it, it wouldn't be so bad. But, I also have to take care of my dog, cud's dog, the rabbit, and the chickens (which includes tons of shit-shovelling, and the like), AS WELL AS do the laundry, buy the groceries, sweep up the house, scrub the the outhouse at least once a week, and respond to what sometimes feels like literally thousands of emails from people who want to come visit (often with replies like "it's not really a good time" and then ending up feeling like a total asshole about that).
So, obviously, I've been feeling angry at Cud about a lot of this. Maybe resentful is a better word. The way I see it, all he has to do is work. He works like , 60 hours a week sometimes. He gets home from work, it's nighttime, he eats leftovers of whatever we made for dinner, goes to bed, wakes up, goes to work, etc. He doesn't have to be the one who has to "have a talk" with whatever said houseguest is being crappy, he doesn't have to take care of his dog, sweep the house, buy the groceries, do his laundry. So, for me, I get frustrated because I sort of feel like I'm doing everything.
I know I'm probably being unfair.. and He's not doing anything wrong either. He's been putting up with me lately, being super cranky all the time, snapping at him for no reason (well, the reason is because I'm resentful), AND quitting smoking. I feel bad for him. And all this time, he's still super sweet to me, and patient, even though I'm a total asshole. It blows my mind sometimes.
But sometimes, the stress of living with your partner when you're already stressed is too much. I miss things like "quality time" where you actually hang out with eachother instead of just being in eachothers spaces occasionally and counting that as time spent together. I miss making an effort to see the other person. making an effort to do something nice for them, or take them for dinner instead of having them cook. Things that couples who don't live together do. Like, go for a walk, or talk about feelings. Why are those things so often forgotten when a person moves in with their partner?
I think cud and I really need some time alone. We haven't had any since before we picked up mogli and josie while we were on tour... so, like, May. Otherwise, I don't know what'll happen. We might just kill eachother... or worse.