co-tangent

Just when things start to somewhat resemble "normal" and "functional" in my life, drama has to kick me in the face.
I'm getting pretty tired of it all. Maybe i'm kidding myself when i think that i'm in an ok place in my life right now. Deep down I know i'm still not really living for me. In a lot of ways, things have been slowly falling into place. I got a new van, which i love, and actually works very well. i finally went to the orthodontist to get my teeth all fixed up. it's gonna cost me a fortune, but they do payment plans, so that's great. I replaced my glasses a couple of months ago. I got a new drum set. I bet it might sound like i'm loaded, but virtually everything ive invested in is on a payment plan. The drums cost me $30 a month, the orthodontist is $200 a month, the glasses were $15 total (|thanks china?), and the money for the van is partially payed back now, but was a loan from my mom.
All of the expensive things in my life i've been putting off, i'm finally just biting the bullet and doing. I'm in debt now as a result, and my bills are doubling every month for the next year and a half, but it's better to just get it out of the way, i figure. I guess if i'm going to be here just working, i might as well make the most of it and spend the money on useful things.

So back to the drama. There seems to be drama all around me these days. I just want things to be normal. I try so hard to stay on the outside, have a little faith, and give people the benefit of the doubt. But, they always let me down in the end. Sometimes i wonder why i make so many compromises in my life for something that so rarely returns the favour?